Expat Declared ‘One of Us’ After Attending Cousin’s Wedding in Bekasi
A foreign man becomes “one of us” after surviving a 7-hour Indonesian wedding, eating goat intestine, and clapping on beat.
BEKASI — 34-year-old expat Paul Whitaker has been formally declared “one of us” by an extended Indonesian family after attending a cousin’s wedding in Bekasi, enduring seven hours of Sundanese hospitality, eating an entire plate of gulai kambing, and remaining seated through an endless slideshow of pre-wedding photos in matching pastel outfits.
Paul, originally from Bristol, UK, came to Jakarta three years ago on a consulting contract, hoping to “expand his cultural understanding and possibly optimize some supply chains.” He had no idea that his true test of integration would involve enduring 38-degree heat, a ten-minute handshake line, and one uncle persistently asking if he was married yet.
“He didn’t even flinch during the goat intestine course,” said auntie Yuni, visibly impressed. “Most bule only eat the ayam. This one finished his soto babat and asked for seconds. I told my husband right then, ‘Dia udah orang sini.’” (He’s one of us now.)
Family sources confirm that Paul was initially expected to make a brief, polite appearance; pose for a few photos, mumble a “selamat” or two, and quietly excuse himself. What they did not expect was for him to stay.
“He arrived on time,” said cousin Novi, still in disbelief. “Which honestly threw everyone off. The pengantin weren’t even here yet. He just stood there smiling, looking confused.”
By the third hour, Paul had apparently lost all track of time and began helping distribute bottled water to arriving guests. By the fifth hour, he had befriended several uncles and joined them in a plastic chair circle under a leaking tent, where they talked about regional football and fluctuating chili prices.
By hour seven, Paul was participating in synchronized clapping during the dangdut performance, briefly leading a line dance after accidentally becoming the front of the conga line.
“That was the moment,” said Ibu Reni, the bride’s mother. “He didn’t complain about the mic feedback. He just laughed. That’s when I knew: this man is ready.”
After the wedding, Paul was invited to join the family WhatsApp group, an honor typically reserved for spouses, blood relatives, and very close neighbors who have lent out rice multiple times.
“We didn’t add him just because he’s dating my niece,” said Pak Dodi. “We added him because he didn’t complain about the traffic to Bekasi. That’s character.”
Paul reportedly accepted the invite with a simple “Makasih 🙏🏼” and promptly changed his profile photo to one of him wearing batik, holding a plate of kue lapis.
Sources say Paul has since been asked to attend another cousin’s engagement party, a neighborhood pengajian, and a mysterious gathering referred to only as “arisan, nanti kamu ngerti.”
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