Indonesian Official Says He’s Innocent Because He Wasn’t Given Vest
Indonesian suspect in KPK sting sparks legal chaos, arguing that without the symbolic orange vest, no formal arrest can be recognized.
JAKARTA — A senior Indonesian tax official is refusing to acknowledge his own arrest on the grounds that the Corruption Eradication Commission (KPK) never gave him the iconic orange vest.
The man, identified only by his initials, was apprehended during a recent sting operation involving allegations of bribery, gold bar accumulation, and inexplicably large foreign currency collections in desk drawers. However, his legal team argues that because KPK officers failed to ceremonially clothe him in the official orange vest of shame, his status should legally default to “maybe.”
Traditionally bestowed upon suspects during perp walks, press conferences, and awkward airport scenes, the orange KPK vest has become both a cultural icon and a favorite tool of due process.
But, lawyers for the unnamed official are now arguing that the absence of the vest constitutes a breach of criminal protocol, effectively invalidating the arrest and returning the suspect to a state of presumed piety.
“Legally, without the vest, my client is still a free man,” claimed defense lawyer Handoko S. Santoso. “The KPK handbook clearly states that the orange vest must be applied for full transfer of guilt. Otherwise, this is just a kidnapping.”
Caught off guard, KPK officials scrambled to defend their approach.
“We had five suspects. We ran out of vests,” explained a spokesperson. “It’s been a busy month. Gold bars don’t confiscate themselves.”
Asked whether the vest is actually a legal requirement for formal charges to proceed, the spokesperson responded, “No, of course not. That’s idiotic.”
Legal scholars disagree.
“Symbols are the law in Indonesia,” said Dr. M. Gunawan, professor of jurisprudence at Universitas Airlangga. “Without symbolic gestures, all we have left is... law. And who wants that?”
News of the defense argument sparked instant buzz on Indonesian social media, with hashtag #NoVestNoArrest trending. One viral tweet read, “Dear KPK, I once took five office pens home and nobody gave me a vest. Am I free to run for office now?”
The case is now expected to go to the Constitutional Court, where justices will debate whether Indonesian law recognizes the concept of “fashion-based innocence.” Sources close to the bench say some are open to further reinterpretations of justice, including:
“If the bribe fits, you must acquit.”
“No cuffs, no corruption.”
“He who smelt it, dealt it”
As for the vestless suspect, he remains in custody. “If they want me to be corrupt,” he told reporters, “they’re going to have to dress me like it.”
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