Kennedy Center Renaming Sparks Boycott From People Who Just Googled What the Kennedy Center Is
Outrage over the Kennedy Center’s new name has sparked national protest... mostly from people who’ve never been to a show.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Outrage erupted across the country last week as the iconic John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts was officially renamed to include Donald J. Trump’s name. The move ignited a wave of protest from Americans who, while never having attended a single event at the venue, remain committed to never attending one in the future either.
“I’m furious,” said Madison Keene, a TikTok influencer. “I just found out what the Kennedy Center was an hour ago, but I’ve already posted three videos explaining why this rebranding is literally cultural genocide.”
Protests broke out near the center’s marble steps Monday afternoon as dozens of demonstrators held up signs reading “We Stand for Culture,” “Not My Performing Arts Center,” and “What Even Is Ballet?” Police on the scene reported no violence, just a lot of vague chanting.
“I just can’t believe they would rename something so important,” said Brad Emerson, who lives 2,800 miles away in Boise, Idaho. “I’ve never been to D.C. and never plan to. But if I ever did, and if someone gave me free tickets, and if parking was convenient… I still wouldn’t go. Not now. Not after this betrayal.”
Polls suggest that nearly 92% of those expressing outrage had never purchased a ticket to a Kennedy Center performance, and 67% believed the Kennedy Center was either a think tank or a hospital wing.
The Kennedy Center Board defended the renaming, noting it was part of a broader bipartisan initiative to boost attention and funding for the arts by generating social media outrage. “You think anyone was talking about us before this?” said one board member, speaking under anonymity. “Now we’ve got 24-hour coverage, celebrities weighing in, and even a Change.org petition with no actual plan attached. We couldn’t be more pleased.”
Outrage is expected to continue until the next major trending event. Until then, activists say they will keep spreading awareness, through Instagram stories and 7-second TikTok clips.
“I just want to preserve our national cultural heritage,” said self-identified activist Taylor Monroe, who proudly added she was now boycotting the Kennedy Center “for life.” When asked if she had ever gone or planned to go, she replied, “Oh God no, that place seems boring. But it’s the symbolism that matters.”
At press time, new petitions had emerged to also rename the Lincoln Memorial, while a counter-petition demanded Trump’s name be added to every interstate rest stop “to heal the nation.”
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