Philippines Demands SEA Games Add Karaoke as Official Sport, Threatens Boycott
Karaoke might become a competitive SEA Games event if the Philippines gets its way. Officials call it the nation’s “true sport.”
MANILA — The Philippines has issued an urgent petition to the Southeast Asian Games Federation to officially include Karaoke as a medal sport, warning that failure to do so may result in a full boycott of the 2027 Games.
The announcement came shortly after Wushu champion Agatha Wong clinched her sixth SEA Games gold medal; a feat described by officials as “commendable… but not as hard as hitting that high note in Alone by Heart after five Red Horses.”
In a televised statement, Department of Culture and Sports Integration spokesperson Enrico Lagumbay said the exclusion of Karaoke from the SEA Games is a “gross cultural oversight,” and has denied millions of Filipinos the chance to shine in their “true national pastime.”
Lagumbay, cited several “objective truths” to support the campaign. These included:
The fact that the average Filipino knows the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody better than the national anthem;
That 90% of barangay disputes are settled by duet challenges;
And that the true Olympic motto, Citius, Altius, Fortius, was “actually misheard from a videoke machine.”
“This is about justice,” Lagumbay declared. “You think badminton is harder than belting Bakit Pa Ba after three rounds of pulutan and heartbreak? Try hitting the bridge in key, with your ex’s cousin in the room. That’s high-performance sport, my friend.”
Within 24 hours of the announcement, the #KaraokeIsLife movement had gained over 2.3 million signatures, with support flooding in from OFWs, tricycle drivers, and wedding hosts.
Agatha Wong herself, responded gracefully to the petition. “I support any Filipino pursuit that involves form, and precision,” she said while slipping her own karaoke scorecard for Titanium into the petition envelope.
Meanwhile, local sports officials have proposed draft rules for the event, including:
Bonus points for nailing Adlib Warbles
A Mandatory Aegis Round
And a penalty system for “performing Perfect by Ed Sheeran more than twice in a row.”
Reached for comment, SEA Games Federation chairman Dato’ Sri Chandran Perumal admitted the request was “unusual… but statistically inevitable.”
“We’ve seen Filipino athletes dominate boxing, billiards, and Wushu. Honestly, we knew this was coming,” he said.
Sources inside the committee say the biggest challenge lies not in logistics, but in enforcing fair judging standards. A previous test event held in 2023 was marred by controversy when a Thai singer outperformed a local favorite… only to have the audience unplug the machine “due to technical difficulties” and throw a slipper.
Still, hopes are high. “This could unite the region,” Lagumbay insisted. “Just imagine it: Singapore versus Laos in a power ballad face-off, Vietnam taking on Myanmar in the Queen Medley Relay, and of course, the Philippines sweeping all 36 golds in a single night.”
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