World

Border Patrol Seizes 50K Gallons of Contraband Maple Syrup Smuggled In Ford F-150 Gas Tanks

Border Patrol seizes 50,000 gallons of bootleg Canadian maple syrup smuggled in Ford F-150 gas tanks as US-Canada tariff war escalates.

Sep 10 • Leigh McKiernon

Analysts Agree Trial Would Have Wrapped Up In Ten Minutes If Defendant Were The Father

Legal Scholars Confirm Exhausting Lindsay Clancy Deliberations Would Have Wrapped Up in 4 Minutes If A Dad Blamed Lexapro.

Sep 10 • Leigh McKiernon

State Issues ‘How Not To Vote Like A Racist’ Coloring Books To Eastern Towns

Germany rolls out mandatory coloring books to teach eastern voters how to pick approved parties after shock AfD state election win.

Sep 7 • Leigh McKiernon

Kurdish MP’s Daughter Learns She Has 8,000 Fiancés Crossing The English Channel

Kurdish Leader's Daughter Clarifies She Is Single After Home Office Approves 8,400 Asylum Seekers Claiming They Are Secretly Engaged to Her.

Sep 7 • Leigh McKiernon

Patriots Block Port Of Dover In Full Gimp Suits To Defend Traditional British Values

Cross-Channel travel halted as 'The Great British Gimp Off' sees 200 protesters in leather bondage gear shut Dover Port.

Sep 6 • Leigh McKiernon

Trump Renames Lake Ontario ‘Lake America,’ Renames Lake Superior ‘Lake Even Better’

President Trump officially rebrands Lake Ontario as ‘Lake America’ and threatens to rename Lake Superior ‘Lake Even Better’ to spite Canada.

Sep 4 • Leigh McKiernon

Reform UK Aide Explains Electoral Laws Are Only For Boring Losers

Reform aide caught on camera explaining that laws against illicit foreign donations are strictly meant for politicians with zero charisma.

Sep 4 • Leigh McKiernon

Cruz Beckham Arrives At Reading Festival With Flashcards And Tutor Just In Case

Victoria Beckham praises son Cruz for doing Reading at 21 after band spends weeks sounding out words on cereal boxes in Cotswolds boot camp.

Sep 3 • Leigh McKiernon

Trump Allows 250-Year-Old Nation to Share Tails Side of His Birthday Coin

Trump claims true 1776 spirit as new $1 coin puts his face on heads while giving America's 250-year history the remaining space on tails.

Sep 3 • Leigh McKiernon

Bill Gates Clarifies Epstein Meetings Were For Completely Normal Billionaire Reasons

Bill Gates uses billionaire logic to explain Epstein meetings, baffling everyone who still believes explanations should explain things.

Jun 18 • Leigh McKiernon

Millions Of Americans Shocked To Learn U.S. Soccer Team Apparently Pretty Good Now

Millions of confused Americans discover the US soccer team might be good, forcing the nation to learn offsides and pretend it always cared.

Jun 13 • Leigh McKiernon

Far-Right Protesters Shocked To Learn Burning Things Does Not Improve Local Community

Residents express surprise that destroying public infrastructure has not improved their quality of life, despite repeated assurances from angry men.

Jun 11 • Leigh McKiernon

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